Dharmafrog

Restless: Soon To Be No More

I am the dictionary definition of the word restless. I get bored easily. The same thing day after day. The same conversations, chores, punishments, and monotony day after day.

There are moments, large meaty chunks of time where I have a complete shut down, where I can’t write or think clearly or photograph anything. When I feel like everything that comes out is crap, a purge feels necessary. A good cry or an angry rant, is usually the outcome to this kind of build up.

I have never considered myself a creative person, but when I have writing pieces to post here or in my journal, working on a project or taking photos, I feel more like myself. I actually am creative. I have to let that part just flow out, in whatever form it needs to.

I thought I could be strong and just tough it out, be a good Mom and take care of everything, and when my kids are older, then it will be my time to relax. I have realized just recently, that I won’t make it. I don’t think I can be a good Mom or a good wife, if I’m not a good me. I know that my guys need and want me to be the best Me possible! 

So, I made a promise to myself. I am setting aside some time that’s just for me, something I’ve never done before. I need to kiss and hug my boys goodbye, tell them that I’ll be back soon, and just spend an hour or two on my own. Not sure what I’m going to do yet, but I’m gonna do it!

... Any ideas?...